I watched The Name of The Doctor. I ended up lying in the fetal position on my bed, contemplating everything. I was choking on my sobs. My dad sat on my bed and was about to lay his hand on me when I screamed “Don’t touch me! DONT TOUCH ME!” Moffat, you can’t wreck a girl’s heart when she is on her period. I miss River. It was so sad. I didn’t really like Clara, but it was also sad. FUCKING NOVEMBER? BAHH UGGH ARRRGGGHHH DAAAHHHH! YOU CAN’T MESS WITH MY DOCTOR WHO WHEN I AM MENSTRUATING YOU BASTARD! NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WHEN EATING CHOCOLATE ICECREAM ONCE A MONTH FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS? I guess reruns will get me through…
So I was playing DC Universe online and I got attacked by a hero (I am a villian) called ManlyManAss. ManlyManAss…. Holy Shit!
Look how badass he is while holding that baby
But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter?
TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER?
I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU.
WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER
IF HE BE WORTHY
THE BLESSING OF THOR
and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.”
I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH.
What the hell.
This is the greatest post in the universe.
jesus christ it’s updated
Rebloggin for the comments.
JFC Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere.
I love you
ALL of you
this shit just keeps getting better!!!
Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm.
And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!”
“I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.”
“Oh my god, dad…”
“HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.”
“Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!”
And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!”
“Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.”
“WELL DONE, BROTHER.”
“Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!”
“I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…”
“UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!”
“BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.”
“No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!”
“Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.”
“UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.”
“Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.”
“YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.”
“WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?”
“Never mind. Thanks, good night.”
#And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen
but this just keeps getting better and better
EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS
OMFG DIS POST. DEM COMMENTS /dying
It gets better every fucking time!
I am CRYING oh my god
[[And there will be that one guy.
He won’t run or never call again.
He’ll sit there and play along.
“I, (insert name), swear on my very life that thine daughter, thine princess of Asgard shall return safely to you. My very life be forfeit at your hands if it be otherwise.”
It’ll be RDJ’s kid. His dad will have warned him about this long beforehand and quizzed him on it.]]
I didn’t even think it was possible for this post to get any better. Thanks for proving me wrong.
omfg I’m just going to go die now
I didn’t think it would be this hard NOT to laugh when I read this post… I was wrong… Dear god… My eyes are still watering!
And then when she gets married Chris will walk her down the isle in his Thor costume and RDJ will be sitting in his custom Iron Man Suit themed tux.
Ian Somerhalder is going to make an appearance on the second season of Arrow as nightwing.
Be still, my heart. I just died and went to fangirl heaven.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *shrill fangirl scream*
O M G IS THIS FOR REAL?!
WHAT? WHAT? Ahhhh! *fangirl faint*
It has been confirmed! FOR REAL! I THINK MY HEART JUST STOPPED!
So, I ordered pizza yesterday and when it came, the pizza guy brought it up to the door. I was holding my Batman mug, the doctor who theme was playing on the TV, I had my tumblr up on my phone, which I think he could see, and my signature awkwardness was obvious. The pizza guy was about sixteen, btw, and when I took the pizza, he stared at me and I asked “what?” He simply answered, “I think I am in love with you.”